Happy Holidays
How I do love this time of year. Whiling the hours away with my folks, my days full of activity. How to give an accurate account of such a wirlwind tour? Maybe a few excerpts will put you in the right mood. Wilst whistling a merry yuletide tune, I've managed a fairly comprehensive tour of Tacoma Washington. For instance, By my count I've visited 6 grocery stores with the old man. Searching for just the right deals on chicken parts to feed the dog is no laughing matter. Managed to go the whole spectrum of grocer from the elegant, expensive shopping store to the dodgy discount mart The sort that have ailes of pummeled packaged foods at half off and an impressive array of three dollar wines. BTW look out for Hungary to be the next juggernaut of the wine industry. I also managed to get into Seattle for some shopping hilarity. It's always nice standing outside a busy department store chatting with dad as mom does her patriotic bit for country. After a fun afternoon in the big city, I assured my hurt mother that I was only kidding about staying in North Carolina and Seattle was indeed a marvelous place to live.
Yes a sparkling holiday season for all. A time to enjoy old traditions and have new ones shoved into one's pie hole. After grousing about my sister bringing her boyfriend to Christmas day, I was informed by my dear old mum that I was probably just jealous. Now that my sister has a job, a new car, and a steady boyfriend, any ribbing, joshing, or bitching I do about same sibling is sadly dismissed as a bout of jealousy from the loser brother... In the same light I've also gotten the opportunity to spend some time wondering just why is it that I haven't met a nice girl. Who can say?

Letting my inner gorrilla out
Had what I would consider a rather embarrasing moment in the office today. I was playing a game of chess with a coworker when I had a bit of an incident. Things were going well, and I could taste victory. However, when it was pointed out to me that I'd made a stupid mistake I cursed and threw the hacky-sack I had in my hand against a cube partition. Unfortunately this display of pissyness was ill-timed and ill-placed. The partition I chose to abuse just happened to be the one facing my boss's desk and about a foot from his face. Thanks to hollow construction and my afore mentioned pissyness it made a very loud bang. Damn it!! BANG! What an ass. My boss was cool, but it obviously scared the crap out of him. Shocking bad form any way you slice it. I apologized numerous times and made myself scarce.....
What can I say? I hate to spread stereotypes, but sometimes its true....
Don't mess with chess enthusiasts, they'll fuck ya up....

I'm done
9 candidates and I didn't lose hope
Of whom AL Sharpton seemed the most charismatic, but I shrugged this off.
My one hope turns out to be a weirdo and I was still sorta on board
But now freaking Saddam Hussein went and got himself caught
And I've come to grips with the fact that we are really and truly screwed.

People tell me that we have a year to go and not to lose heart.
They tell me that people who make predictions
Look like asses a year down the road.
I think about this and the only thing that comes to me
is "bite me"
Bush probably has Osama tucked away till he needs him in November.
My birthday is the 29th... Maybe I'll go suck a lemon
I imagine that it will taste sweet in comparison

Somebody hit me with a hammer
The other night I was at a bar with some friends. It was the last stop of a long night and I found myself sitting with a bunch of Scottish guys who were in the band we'd just heard. Nice guys, trying their best to hit on the females of our party afore the tour bus departed. Yet during the whole fucking time I could hear myself speaking the brogue with them or rather at them. Inappropriate? Well for all of you who don't know me, Anglophile I may be but suffice it to say that I have no business speaking the brogue. Not only that, but I asked them what teams they like, Celtic and Motherwell, and probably tried to say something intelligent about soccer... Honestly! Even were I sober I couldn't hold much of an international soccer conversation with these guys beyond asking for rankings(which I did).. The worst is that all the while, my brain was screaming, Stop it! you Ass! but I kept mumbling "aye, aye would ya like another drink then?" or some such...
I just talked to a friend of mine who was there, and he confirmed much distress over my behavior..
Ach, What a wanker....

You know you've been working too long into the night when...
You realize that the can of soda you just finished isn't the one you just opened but the one you were drinking 3 hours ago... Now that we're in finals territory, My work area is littered with cans of soda, paper napkins, and everywhere on every surface wretched, damned paper... In the past couple of days while working at mi computadora, I've watched two spaghetti westerns, countless videos, and I've found out about the fabulous lifestyles of several celebrities... If working at my computer, tv on, hopped up on caffeine, and having Itunes ripping my Cds in the background doesn't make me the poster boy of the 21st century then Arnie doesn't like Hummers... huh.. that just made me chuckle....

Well, two papers, one test, and a couple gallons of soda to go before I'm free...
It is a fabulous life..