Statement from the Plant
Now that I'm salaried I assume that its cool if I take a little break-ola and write a post on the ole blog. Today is my second day and everything is going pretty well. Yesterday my boss issued a welcome email for me and encouraged all and asundry to shower me with condoms and chocolate. Ever since I've been fending off my lovely coworkers' regrets at their lack of both. Disturbingly, I've also had to fend off a few sincere offers.

For a while there I was considering going out and splurging on some new work clothes since it has come to my attention that several pairs of my pants have taken up holy orders. Fortunately I remembered that I work at a cool non-profit where guys with knit shirts and slacks are given wary looks and rarely proffered condoms or chocolate. At any rate, It also turns out that through excellent fiscal management on my part I am apparently newly broke having spent all of my lovely loan money. This startling realization came after a rather disturbing session on my bank's website the other day. Such nasty reminders of my fiduciary shortcomings are one of the main reasons why I usually prefer to avoid said website. Luckily this piece of bad news comes just as I start my new job. Now that I'm actually spending my own money however, I suppose I'll have to start paying attention to these things.. ghah..