Need a new plan.

It occured to me as I bleakly stared at my bank account today, that

A) As Friday dawns your author will let go one hell of a sigh of relief

B) Perhaps I could eat that doggie-bagged salmon that sat in my car for about 5 hours after dinner...

C) If I'm ever going to join the evil landlord class I'm going to need a freaking great/better gimic...

A coworker and I were talking about this. We were having lunch and the conversation turned towards a chess site we both frequent. Basically his comments were along the lines of:
"you could do that"
"We'd email all our friends"
"$10 bucks a head, suddenly you're paying for the server time"
"Next thing you know, you're living on easy street"

I looked at the php code for the site and I might as well have been looking at the Matrix, one solid block of code...

Meanwhile, I can't even get the daily newspaper read..

sigh..

I know that fish'll just stink up my refrigerator in a couple of days anyways....

Tending my flock


Scene 1
El Jefe sits at his cubicle immersed in a technical manual. El Jefe's brow is creased as he concentrates. Non-offending music plays softly in the background, slightly chewed pens, an unholy tangle of wires, stapler, tape, and a mildewing collection of used cups and glasses litter his desk.

"huh"

He looks up. He squints.

click. click. tap,tap.

"hah"

"Yo Jfizzle, check this out"

Scene 2
WH, a friend of El Jefe and fellow worker drone sits in his cubicle on the other side of the building. Poor WH. Its been a long day and he's gamely working away at whatever crap he does at ole Ipas. El Jefe really has no idea what that is and in retrospect probably should take more of an interest. On the other hand, El Jefe respects his privacy.

Suddenly WH is shaken out of his routine by some strange activity on the mouse.
It seems to be fighting his well practiced motions. As WH's eyes focus on the activity he releases the mouse and suddenly the jerky, seemingly random movements of his pointer transform into graceful paths filled with purpose.

The pointer goes to the Start button and opens Notepad while Walter takes all this in and begins to get a little uncomfortable.

The cursor blinks.

"Hello WH."
"Wake up WH"
"Follow the white rabbit WH."

"Hippity hop, Hippity hop"

Walter hesitantly writes "Who is this?"

"the coolest guy you know WH"

After this point the transcript grows a bit ugly.

Scene 3
Back in the warren of cubicles that makes up IT's redoubt and sanctuary.

Jfizzle wipes a tear from his eye
"so wrong..." and walks away.

El Jefe struggles to regain composure for some time...

then he waits for Jfizzle to return to his desk...



love ya, don't go changing..

El Jefe

Statement from the Plant
Now that I'm salaried I assume that its cool if I take a little break-ola and write a post on the ole blog. Today is my second day and everything is going pretty well. Yesterday my boss issued a welcome email for me and encouraged all and asundry to shower me with condoms and chocolate. Ever since I've been fending off my lovely coworkers' regrets at their lack of both. Disturbingly, I've also had to fend off a few sincere offers.

For a while there I was considering going out and splurging on some new work clothes since it has come to my attention that several pairs of my pants have taken up holy orders. Fortunately I remembered that I work at a cool non-profit where guys with knit shirts and slacks are given wary looks and rarely proffered condoms or chocolate. At any rate, It also turns out that through excellent fiscal management on my part I am apparently newly broke having spent all of my lovely loan money. This startling realization came after a rather disturbing session on my bank's website the other day. Such nasty reminders of my fiduciary shortcomings are one of the main reasons why I usually prefer to avoid said website. Luckily this piece of bad news comes just as I start my new job. Now that I'm actually spending my own money however, I suppose I'll have to start paying attention to these things.. ghah..

Excuse me DJ?

Yeah?

Queen, we are the champions please.

You authorized for that my chum?

Feck Yeah!

Scuse me while I run around my apartment twirling my shirt, screaming lyrics, and air humping the world!!!!

Cause I'm freaking done loosers!! No time for yah!!!!

Master freaking El Jefe

Cur·mudg·eon?

n. An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions

This blog has definitely been an odd experiment. Who would have thought that the timing of this collection of digital twaddle would coincide with a couple of uniquely miserable periods for el Jefe? Just an odd coincidence I suppose. On the other hand, one tends to mind the road when things get bumpy so I guess it was fortuitous in a way. Plus it makes for funnier copy. Usually one tends to gloss over some of the interesting bits of life when things are going well. At any rate I'd hate to think what people might surmise of my character from a casual read of this odd little corner of the internet. Upon review of the contents of this journal I would have to say that I've thrown up a representation of a rather churlish drunkard.

Luckily things seem to actually be headed a bit uphill lately. I'm actually feeling pretty good about how things are turning out and I'm sure time will reveal that all was for the best.
(Now that is twaddle)

Tonight is my last official night of procrastination. Tomorrow I have a paper due and I'm nowhere near completion or even half-way. To be honest, I have to say that I'm rather enjoying blowing it off. Things are always more fun, leisure more satisfying when it is done at the expense of something else. Tomorrow I'll be done one way or another. I'll have lots of free time again. What will that be like? Free time and sufficient income have always seemed an odious mix to me, but I pretty sure that's just jealousy.

In the end, it may spell the doom of this blog. I mean what if I turn into a fucking yuppie or something?! Good god, that last post was bad enough! Next thing you know I'll be blogging about buying a freaking Jetta, my latest weekend trip to do some bullshit outdoorsey activity, buying some tit house where my neighbors are two inches away, describing the god awful tights I plan to ride my bicycle in, etc! I'm fucking impressionable people! It could happen! (Well, not the tights bit)
Nah man, Fuck that. If shit like that ever happens I'd just as well keep it to myself. Hopefully my basement-inlaw apartment will help keep me grounded, despite the burgeoning realization that I suddenly need a lot of things. Ugghhh. Pretty soon my rich neighbors will stop giving me wary looks as I drive by in my heap. Maybe I need to rejoin the ranks of academia and once again hurl myself into state sponsered destitution. Maybe I should join the PeaceCorp..

Maybe I should just shut the hell up

El Jefe