The life of the IT Stooge can be v. frustrating.

On one hand, we do know better than you. Fine. Granted. We generally can get you out of a jam. That doesn't, however, make us mythic omnipotent beings. It's not like the effing manual is printed in Greek either. Unless you derive some adolescent power trip from expertise, most people in this industry end up trying to avoid everyone else. You're either a geek or v. rude, and who wants to put up with that? I just wish users would think a little before hitting the IT panic button. The day you happily shove your common sense into the fires of techno-phobia is a dark and grisly day for all concerned.

"Hey IT guys! Here is the latest penis enlargement email that I've received! Thought you should now about it!"

"Hey IT guys! I'm work thousands of miles away from you, I'm having non-specific problems with my computer, can you fix it? BTW I'm CCing my Manager because I'm a fucking @#@%@##. Cheers!"

"Hey IT guys! I know that you told me that I bought the wrong fucking cord for my PDA, politely pointed me towards the manual where it explicitly states that I bought the wrong fucking cord for my PDA, and generally wasted a lot of time on my personal shit, but could you go ahead and give my friend administrator rights on my computer so that he can try? Thanks!"

Just got to keep laughing...
el Jefe

X marks the spot

In case you're not hip to it, the Jefe works in a medium-sized office where those with man-bits are very much in the minority. There are about 5 of us total, and oddly enough my entire department (IT, har har) is entirely male. It's cool. Not even a problem cuz I'm down with the ladies and I can hang. But it does mean that the dudes stick together. Like effin' white on rice! For the most part it can actually be a real laugh. Whispered sexist comments are that much funnier when there's this air of extreme danger, not that the Jefe even knows how to make such comments you understand. I've just heard tell.

Well last week two good friends, WH and the Jmac both left to find greener fields. Good friends and I guess I should add good fellahs as well. Although they weren't in IT, they both were cool, had the X, and knew the score. Now they're off to find working environs that are bit more heterogeneously mixed, sexually speaking.

Lousy F'ers.

Yeah that was a real shit sandwich. We had such good times! laughing and covorting, claminig up when we thought someone was coming, etc. At first, being idiots, the Wolf and I were like, guys you gotsta hire hot women to take your place! Now me and the wolf are starting to realize our tactical error. Those spots were both filled by ladies and now IT is just this little island. A little island in a sea of Estrogen.

And let me tell you something matey, those be deep n' dark, roiling waters are not to be taken lightly.

Right now you're probably thinking, "Ah c'mon Jefe don't get all paranoid, its the 21st for effin' sake. You're probably the only one who's noticed!" Believe me my friend when I say that the change in balance has not gone unnoticed. There've been a lot of comments, significant looks, even perilous glances! Well, there have been Weird glances at any rate.

Yesterday I was walking along, minding my business, whistling my jefe song, when I noticed a cluster of women in a cube ahead of me. One of them turns, notices me, and as God and The Glenlivet are my co-pilots I swear that she said, "Oh, there's a boy!" The others turned and just looked at me. Now that's some stone-cold, Children of the Corn shit.

Did I stop?

Did I say hello?

Not bloody likely mate. I just got the hell out of there. Sharpish.

Not convinced?

Today I ventured out to get a coke and some chips from the vending machine. Aware of my peril, I walked briskly and did my best to seem non-chalant, but even so I was accosted several times and asked if that was all that I was having for lunch today. Pitying looks were shot and I was even offered someone's leftover lunch. Oh, and were eyebrows cocked, you ask? God-damn right eyebrows were cocked! Now I'm man enough to admit that I'm not known for my "gourmet" sensibilities, but mothering? Oh hell no! Mom calls me just about every other day with pointers, I sure as fuck don't need this shit!

Eyebrows were cocked!
el Jefe